just tell him i said nine months
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
