hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
