The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
