I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
