Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
