I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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