we have pet lesbian snakes
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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