Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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