my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
