News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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