I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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