Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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