Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
