Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
