Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
