The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
