it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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