I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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