How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
