Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
