hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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