he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
