youre lurking in front of me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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