no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
