Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize