Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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