you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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