never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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