Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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