This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
