She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
