hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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