Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
