so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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