i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
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