new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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