this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
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i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
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And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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