Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
