Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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