some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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