in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
