So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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