his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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