what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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