i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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