Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
