I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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