just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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