So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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