Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize