I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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