You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
