The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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