hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
