is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
