Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
