I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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