do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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