Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
