i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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