My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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